Breaking The Cycle of Addiction

The key to breaking the cycle of addiction is in knowing when you tend towards your substance of choice as a problem-solving strategy.

What do those numbers mean in this diagram? They indicate how, with the progression of time, your addictive tendencies have influenced your actions and choices in progressively earlier phases.

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When you had first entered into your own cycle of addiction, you had gone through all the phases illustrated as described below.

• You were aware of problems in your life.
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  • The problems in your life could be of an affective, social, professional or material nature. They could be related to your sense of identity or of self-worth. They could have their roots in the emotional, psychological, physical or spiritual spheres of your life. Let's face it: problems are problems. No one sees your problems in quite the same way as you... and that's one of the keys to rehabilitation.
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• You found no adequate solutions.
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  • After trying really hard, you began thinking that any further effort would be pointless. "Despite my best efforts, nothing seems to get any better." "I tried everything I could think of, and it just gets worse." "No matter what I do, I can't seem to get over it, through it, around it, etc..." One of the roots of the problem here could be that you're thinking in terms of "I". Have you ever thought of "we"'? The cycle of addiction often begins with the idea that "no one understands the problems I'm going through".
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• Uncomfortable feelings began to set in: dissatisfaction, failure, anxiety, negative self-image, etc...
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  • One consequence of repeated failure is the abandonment of any further effort. This results from the irrational belief that "everything I do is doomed to fail so why even bother trying again?" Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) would suggest that replacing this irrational belief with a more realistic one could change things: "everything I've tried so far hasn't produced the results I'd hoped for, but maybe someone else has a different take on things..."
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• You began to search for means to adapt yourself to the situation.
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  • Here again, having resigned yourself to the status-quo, the belief that your efforts are doomed to fail has had a deep impact on you. It has deprived you of your power to choose intrinsic means to achieve change, and to search for extrinsic sources of reprieve. Here are relevant examples of each:
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  • Extrinsic - "I know it takes me 2 hours to reach my limit of 4 drinks. The bar closes at midnight so I'll go at 10pm just to be safe."
  • Intrinsic - "I've reached my limit of 3 drinks and have a busy day tomorrow. I don't want a hangover so I choose to leave now and get a good night's sleep."
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• Extrinsic resources became your principal allies and may have included various forms of escapism, stress management techniques, pain medication, etc...
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  • Your attention began to focus exclusively on your environment and you began to lay blame for your problems elsewhere. Just so you could get through the day, you got a prescription from your doctor and made sure you had a few headache pills in your pocket every morning. You may have bought one of those little squishy stress-relief balls at the pharmacy checkout because you smoked too much. Perhaps you found temporary relief by visiting the mall a few times a week, or renting a movie every day after work, or hanging out at the local watering hole during happy hour "just to relax".
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• You eventually became aware of a severely diminished capacity to face life without some kind of external aid or support.
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  • This is the point when you understood just how deeply dependent you had become on whatever activity or habit gave you that much-sought-after reprieve. Convinced of your own inability to change anything, you gave in to what appeared to be the inevitable.
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• Those uncomfortable feelings could no longer be ignored - and they were back with a vengeance. Regret, remorse, failure, self-doubt, guilt, anxiety...
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  • You eventually got to a point where you began to question your own value as a human being. Every failure and missed opportunity in your life was then front and center in your mind. You didn't dare to try anything new or develop any new relationships. Shame, remorse, self-pity and fear were then your driving forces. Your thoughts began to be crowded with echos of "Why me? What did I do to deserve this?" or "I'm a lousy human being, I don't deserve to be happy."
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That's when you first said to yourself, "Ah, to hell with it... gimme another beer (snort, toke, whatever...)" You had just entered into your own cycle of addiction.

Your addiction began at the stage of hopelessness and of suffering, but it soon became your method of choice to relieve the stress associated with the accumulation of day-to-day pressures ("After all", you said to yourself, "what else can I do?")

You got to a point when you began to use (your substance here) anytime one of those uncomfortable feelings came back to haunt you.

Ultimately, your addictive tendencies became a means to prevent those feelings and surfaced every time you anticipated a problem.

Evidently, one of the keys to prevention in the cycle of addiction is to learn how to manage your emotions.

Break YOUR Cycle of Addiction NOW

The first step in breaking your own cycle of addiction right now is identifying where in the diagram of progression you find yourself today.

Take a good look at the diagram on the right. You will, I'm sure, notice some major differences between this and the previous diagram.

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First, the cycle of addiction is gone (and that's the whole point, isn't it?). The cycle of addiction has been replaced by solutions.

Next, two phases of progression stand out, don't they? Why? Because these two phases - awareness of problems and search for means of adaptation - are when you are most apt to find solutions. That is when your whole mindset is geared towards problem resolution.

Finally, that ominous gray arrow. What's that, you ask? That arrow represents the ever-present risk of relapse. The deeper you are in your progression towards your cycle of addiction, the greater the risk of relapse - unless solutions to your problems are found.

When are solutions found? Well, to begin with, solutions are rarely found; they are usually searched for. How? By asking questions. What questions? Good question; here are a few you can ask yourself. (Be sure to write down your answers and keep them in a safe place, you'll be referring to that list often while you build your Personal Recovery Plan.)

• "Do I perform better - or achieve better / faster results - when I'm under the influence of...?"
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  • If the issue of performance is an important one for you, perhaps more effective questions would be: "Why is performance so important to me?" "What am I afraid of? Judgment? Rejection? Not being accepted or appreciated?"
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• "Do I use (your substance here) mainly to run from my fears? To hide from them? To ensure that no one else notices them?"
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  • If fear is predominant in your life (and be honest with yourself here; it likely is), then ask yourself again: "What am I afraid of?" If everything just seems too fuzzy right now, go to Strategies and review the Section Contents; you may find clarification there. Then come back here.
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• "Do I feel uncomfortable or ill-at-ease in places / situations where (your substance here) isn't available?"
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  • Being deprived of what has become for you an effective means to create an illusory sense of security can awaken intense feelings of anxiety. If this is the case, be sure to study Anxiety as well as Self-Esteem, Self-Confidence & Self-Worth in the Strategies section of this site.
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• "Am I afraid of being found out? Do I lie to avoid it? Do I try to manipulate my way around it?"
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  • The knowledge that you are indeed addicted can often develop intense feelings of shame & guilt. Shame at the idea of admitting it to someone, guilt at the idea that although you knew what you were doing was 'wrong', you did it anyway. See Shame and Guilt in the Strategies section.
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• "Has using (your substance here) become my priority in life? Do I get aggressive / defensive when I'm questioned about it?"
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  • Here are some additional questions to consider: "Do I try to justify my addiction to anyone who dares question my judgment?" "Do I feel accused or persecuted?" "Do I cut myself off from people I love?"
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• "Have I lost the trust of my family / friends / colleagues? Do I deny what everyone else seems to see?"
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  • Denying what is obvious to both yourself and others is the surest way to cut yourself off from those you love. But even though you may have lost their trust, they will respond favorably if you ask for help. Yes, that requires humility and courage, but these are qualities you possess. Think about it.
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  • Your shame and guilt required that great humility be exercised every time you purchased (your substance here).
  • Your courage shone through every time you held your ground and chose to pay the price by denying your addiction and defending your lifestyle.
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  • These qualities are part of who you are. It is up to you to decide how to use them.
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Did you write down your answers to all the questions above? Did you answer them honestly? (Remember that the easiest person to fool is yourself.) OK, now go back over the questions again and think hard about your answers. Write down everything that comes to mind; this is your initial roadmap for your own journey out of your cycle of addiction.

With your answers in hand, go to Strategies and review the Section Contents. Jot down every topic that applies to your answers in the margins of your list; these are the milestones on your roadmap.

Congratulations!

Guess what. You just broke your cycle of addiction. Your efforts here just now have served to prove to yourself that you want change. More importantly, you now know what you want to change.

Your next step will be to Identify Your Triggers & Plot Your Cycle of Addiction.